It was February 25 2018. I was visiting my mom who lived in her friends stanky house. My 2 siblings and father slept in my moms room and I fell asleep on the couch watching boss Baby. In the middle of the night, my uncle Raymond came out and though it was my dad "Daddy?" I has asked, but Uncle Raymond told me he was just turning the TV off, the next morning I woke my siblings up for food. We tried to wake my dad up. He killed himself. He overdosed on purpose. That night when I woke up I could have saved him. I could have told him I looked him. I was 9 years old. In 2020 my mom died too, heartbreak mostly. I wish I could have said goodbye.....

TW// self harm & suicide i’m known as the “perfect girl” with a “perfect life” by everyone. my parents are still together. there are literally no problems in my family, everyone gets along really well. we aren’t struggling with money. i have all A’s. i was accepted into one of the top private schools in my state. i’ve been on homecoming court and i’ve been elected for a position in the student council. my parents do everything they can to give me an amazing life. but for some reason i feel so sad. i don’t know why and i feel so selfish but i feel sad. i feel like everyone hates me and like they would be better off without me. everyone thinks i’m perfect and my friends even tell me that i’m “the only mentally stable person” that they know. i’m scared of telling anyone else this after it got out and got to my parents. but since this is anonymous i wanted to let it out. i self harm and i relapsed so many times. i attempted 3 times in the past 2 years. obviously it didn’t work and i don’t plan on doing it again for now but i have thoughts about it. it sucks. and i feel so hopeless and helpless even more since no one can see it. i know this is selfish but sometimes i wish people would try and understand and talk to me

• August 5, 2023