When I was 10 I watched as my mother and sister screamed at each other and my sister said she was going to live underneath. Every since then I’ve been alone. My mother paid more attention to my sister, my brother left when he graduated, and mt father lived in another state because of work. I’ve been alone all of my life and it’s getting really hard to deal with. But the worst part is, when me and my sister or my mom get in too it and I mention how they made me feel (made me feel like I wasn’t good enough and no one could love me). They tell me that they love and they’re sorry and I need to get over it. Those are words would have meant a lot more if they had said them when I was 10, because I’ve been living my life thinking I’ll never be enough for anybody. So I just stay out of peoples way.

I been thinking real hard about even relaying these awful things about the person that I have admired the most, the person I have respected and revered my whole life but that now, has completely backstabbed me in the worst way possible. A few years ago, a scandal broke in my political family involving my mother. As you can imagine, it nearly broke my marriage and tore my husband’s family apart. My sister in law found my father in law and my mom talking on social media. The worst part of it, when I was confronted, I was accused of knowing about the whole affair and made it looked like I was an accomplice to the whole ordeal. When I had absolutely no clue to such a disgusting mess. I don’t know what neither of them were trying to accomplish and now, I’m the black sheep of the family. No one talks to me. While my father in law is still loved and honored. My mother the home wrecker and I pay the sins of her ordeals. She never once has said I’m sorry. Never! In her head, I’m better off without that side of the family. But it’s not about that; why did she do this to me? Why my father in law? Among so many men? Why him! I guess I’m just looking for an explanation and I know I will never get it from her. Because she just cannot accept she did anything wrong. I wish I could get her version because as of now, I only know everyone else’s but her’s. I always thought I didn’t need to hear her side because it’s not my place to question her, but I have kids who now have to suffer for her sins as well. I don’t think it’s fair to them either. I guess the damage is done as well and the past is the past. I won’t get nothing accomplished but I just want an acknowledgment from her part that she messed up.

• August 12, 2023