I am 17 year old drug addict and I’ve been clean for about 2 years almost and even tho I’m clean I still crave drugs all the time. I want to relapse. I miss the feeling in my body when i would b high. I dont take pills anymore but i drink heavily and it’s definitely just a substitute for my actual addictions. It started w a pot brownie, I bought a brownie and ate it and turns out it was laced w ecstasy, I’ve been trying to mimick that high ever since. Nothing will ever compare to that first high and thats apart of my problem. My mom doesn’t know I’m an addict, a friend of mine told her I was addicted to meth once and i gaslit the fuck out of her. She never had a chance to believe my friend because I was a manipulative ass bitch at the time. Talking to my mom is out of the question because she will be focused on how its her fault and not try to understand and help me with these urges. I want to do drugs again but i value my relationships w my family and friends to much to do that again. My bestfriend also has a baby now and I refuse to bring that around her and her child. But it honestly feels like the urges are winning, like im one bad day from relapsing.