Hi! I had really low self esteem and I’m really suicidal. It’s been going on for years and it’s getting worse and worse and worse. Some of my friends have bad mental health but have people who know and when they speak about it it’s so hard not to cry because it just upsets me so much. I have been so close to trying to commit suicide so many times. What makes it worse is I have really bad anxiety and might have OCD (that’s a might, I’m showing behavior but till I’m diagnosed with it I am not saying I do). I’ve had 4 mental breakdowns in school in front of someone this year and I just blamed it on my head hurting or a bit of drama with some friend. Well the 4th time, they sent me to the school social worker and I had to tell her something so I just told her about my checking. She told me I should tell my parents and when I reacted and said no she kept asking why and than she would drop it and ask again. I love my parents and I’m genuinely so lucky to have them but it’s always been kind hard for me to trust them. My dad works a lot and is reserved, he also Is really gullible in a way? Like he’s not gullible at all other than how he repeats everything his step mom says. And a lot of the stuff is super controversial. I told him the other day about my checking and he was like well I’m not sure what should we do about it but he was also like it’s probably just a habit and you just gotta learn to stop and tell your self not to check and it really made me feel invalidated. My mom takes small things to another extent and will have mental breakdowns easily, she also gossips about other people, will laugh in my face when I try to talk to her about serious things, and backstabs a lot. She does so much other stuff too and it’s made it really hard to trust both of them. Today I was with a assistant teacher and I told him what I just said about my mom and now with I feel like he’s gonna think I’m being dramatic or priveledged because I’m so lucky to have her and so many people have it so much worse. I keep beating myself up for it. What do I do? Am I being dramatic?