when I was 8 or 9, my friend sexually assaulted me. I said no but she said it was normal. I didn’t want her to, but it happened anyways. it wasn’t like she held me down, however I still remember that day. She is now telling people that I did it to her and I’m losing my friends. I don’t know what to do anymore. It sucks that this is how I’m living, and I told my friend and had a panic attack, they held me as I sobbed and thankfully they believed me. I just don’t want to be blamed for something that wasn’t my fault. I didn’t want it to happen. And I keep feeling like it’s my fault that I didn’t just try to leave because I thought it was ok. It’s not ok and I’m scared for life now.

TW// self harm & suicide i’m known as the “perfect girl” with a “perfect life” by everyone. my parents are still together. there are literally no problems in my family, everyone gets along really well. we aren’t struggling with money. i have all A’s. i was accepted into one of the top private schools in my state. i’ve been on homecoming court and i’ve been elected for a position in the student council. my parents do everything they can to give me an amazing life. but for some reason i feel so sad. i don’t know why and i feel so selfish but i feel sad. i feel like everyone hates me and like they would be better off without me. everyone thinks i’m perfect and my friends even tell me that i’m “the only mentally stable person” that they know. i’m scared of telling anyone else this after it got out and got to my parents. but since this is anonymous i wanted to let it out. i self harm and i relapsed so many times. i attempted 3 times in the past 2 years. obviously it didn’t work and i don’t plan on doing it again for now but i have thoughts about it. it sucks. and i feel so hopeless and helpless even more since no one can see it. i know this is selfish but sometimes i wish people would try and understand and talk to me

• August 5, 2023