My sister used to always tell me how much she hated me because I was her younger sister that always took our parents’ attention from her. I was like 10 at the time and didn’t know any better. One day, she woke me up at around 11:00PM and said that she loved me and she was sorry before I fell asleep again. I woke up and my parents were crying their eyes out while trying to console me, I didn’t even know what was happening, so I didn’t know why they were comforting me. I don’t remember that well, but I know they said things like, “It’s okay. She’ll be back. She’s not gone forever.” I was always confused about this, and a few days later they say me down at our dining table and told me that my sister had ran away from home at night and got into a severe accident a few blocks away. Of course, I didn’t believe them. My sister was like 13-14, so I didn’t think she’d run away from home at such a young age. Turns out it was true, and the police told our parents she wasn’t going to make it without blood transplants because she lost too much. None of my family members had her same blood type, including me, so she had to just pass away. It was difficult dealing with this, especially knowing that I was probably the last person she said that she loved before dying. I never told my parents she woke me up at 11:00PM, I feel like they’ll blame me for not trying to stop her from leaving. I was only 10.

I been thinking real hard about even relaying these awful things about the person that I have admired the most, the person I have respected and revered my whole life but that now, has completely backstabbed me in the worst way possible. A few years ago, a scandal broke in my political family involving my mother. As you can imagine, it nearly broke my marriage and tore my husband’s family apart. My sister in law found my father in law and my mom talking on social media. The worst part of it, when I was confronted, I was accused of knowing about the whole affair and made it looked like I was an accomplice to the whole ordeal. When I had absolutely no clue to such a disgusting mess. I don’t know what neither of them were trying to accomplish and now, I’m the black sheep of the family. No one talks to me. While my father in law is still loved and honored. My mother the home wrecker and I pay the sins of her ordeals. She never once has said I’m sorry. Never! In her head, I’m better off without that side of the family. But it’s not about that; why did she do this to me? Why my father in law? Among so many men? Why him! I guess I’m just looking for an explanation and I know I will never get it from her. Because she just cannot accept she did anything wrong. I wish I could get her version because as of now, I only know everyone else’s but her’s. I always thought I didn’t need to hear her side because it’s not my place to question her, but I have kids who now have to suffer for her sins as well. I don’t think it’s fair to them either. I guess the damage is done as well and the past is the past. I won’t get nothing accomplished but I just want an acknowledgment from her part that she messed up.

• August 12, 2023