My mother had been in and out of the hospital between the years of 2013-2018 for a pretty severe illness. Before I went off to college in 2015 there were some nights where I would stay awake watching over her because I was scared she would pass away. When I went off to college I started dating someone who tried to keep me away from my family. They would sometimes threaten me if I told them I was going home for a weekend. Rather then ending things with this partner, I stayed with them. We spent the Christmas season of 2017 in the hospital at moms bedside. At one point my grandmother asked me to talk to her about stopping treatment due to her deteriorating condition. So the day I was set to drive back to school I tried. Instead my mom asked me if I still loved her, because I never came to visit her. I couldn’t tell her that couldn’t because I was being threatened. I thought it made me look weak. I tried to reassure her that I did still love her, and promised that I would come and visit her during my February break. That was the last conversation we ever had. The next time I came home was to sign papers to remover her from life support.

I been thinking real hard about even relaying these awful things about the person that I have admired the most, the person I have respected and revered my whole life but that now, has completely backstabbed me in the worst way possible. A few years ago, a scandal broke in my political family involving my mother. As you can imagine, it nearly broke my marriage and tore my husband’s family apart. My sister in law found my father in law and my mom talking on social media. The worst part of it, when I was confronted, I was accused of knowing about the whole affair and made it looked like I was an accomplice to the whole ordeal. When I had absolutely no clue to such a disgusting mess. I don’t know what neither of them were trying to accomplish and now, I’m the black sheep of the family. No one talks to me. While my father in law is still loved and honored. My mother the home wrecker and I pay the sins of her ordeals. She never once has said I’m sorry. Never! In her head, I’m better off without that side of the family. But it’s not about that; why did she do this to me? Why my father in law? Among so many men? Why him! I guess I’m just looking for an explanation and I know I will never get it from her. Because she just cannot accept she did anything wrong. I wish I could get her version because as of now, I only know everyone else’s but her’s. I always thought I didn’t need to hear her side because it’s not my place to question her, but I have kids who now have to suffer for her sins as well. I don’t think it’s fair to them either. I guess the damage is done as well and the past is the past. I won’t get nothing accomplished but I just want an acknowledgment from her part that she messed up.

• August 12, 2023