Not a single person in my life knows this but in 2020 i left my home to study for uni outside the country. A few weeks before leaving, I gave all of my friends gifts, constantly spent so much time with them and my family as well, threw away anything that belonged to me, burnt/threw away my diary of 4 years or so, gave away my stuff, gave away my books and I also gave away some of my clothes to my sister. Everyone thought it was just a nice gesture but to be honest, I did all of that because I was planning to kill myself as soon as I leave. I didn’t want my diary to be an evidence for how suicidal I was because I planned how I would commit suicide and how I would make it look like an accidental death so no one would be upset. I wanted to keep something with my friends to remember me by. I remember crying so much to my parents and friends before leaving because I knew that this was legit the last time we would ever see each other but they didn’t know that. I acted happy and everyone thought I was actually getting better and my therapist noticed the change in my behavior too but it wasn’t real, I wanted to seem like I was getting better so no one would suspect a thing. I live alone now and it was very easy to just get my suicide plan over with but It’s 2022 now and I’m still alive. I don’t know how i survived but I did. I always think about the plan from now and then. If anyone suddenly decides to give away their stuff and they seem like they are getting better just out of nowhere and you know they have a history of depression or mental illness, PLEASE check up on them because they could be thinking about suicide. Look for the signs before it’s too late and my therapist was the only one who had noticed my cry for help. If it wasn’t for her, I don’t think I would be alive rn.