I feel like a screw up...I just let someone close to me that I saw as a dad get assaulted...I'm worried that the person I see as a mom is going to hate me forever, and never speak to me again...I don't know what to do... All because I was distracted...I wouldn't blame either of them if they hated me...I deserve it...I didn't help the one person that I looked up to as a dad...And now I hate myself for it...I wish I did help him...But I was busy with other things... I'm scared that all my friends are gonna cut me off and block me...All my close friends...I need help...I don't know what to do...I don't wanna lose my friends...They mean everything to me...I'll do anything...

TW// self harm & suicide i’m known as the “perfect girl” with a “perfect life” by everyone. my parents are still together. there are literally no problems in my family, everyone gets along really well. we aren’t struggling with money. i have all A’s. i was accepted into one of the top private schools in my state. i’ve been on homecoming court and i’ve been elected for a position in the student council. my parents do everything they can to give me an amazing life. but for some reason i feel so sad. i don’t know why and i feel so selfish but i feel sad. i feel like everyone hates me and like they would be better off without me. everyone thinks i’m perfect and my friends even tell me that i’m “the only mentally stable person” that they know. i’m scared of telling anyone else this after it got out and got to my parents. but since this is anonymous i wanted to let it out. i self harm and i relapsed so many times. i attempted 3 times in the past 2 years. obviously it didn’t work and i don’t plan on doing it again for now but i have thoughts about it. it sucks. and i feel so hopeless and helpless even more since no one can see it. i know this is selfish but sometimes i wish people would try and understand and talk to me

• August 5, 2023