I’ve always thought that I’ve had my life planned out. From elementary onwards to my current year which is a junior I high school I’ve always known that I’ve wanted to go to school to be a detective and to move far from home to Wyoming. I’ve always thought that I would marry a woman with the same interests as me. People would always say that they wish they had their lives planned out like I do. However I started having thoughts in middle school on what I really am. I’ve been struggling with being able to identify myself. Idk if I’m gay or not. I recently broke up with my first girlfriend. I loved her I really did, but I’m not sure what I want in a person anymore. Even though I had feelings towards my ex gf, it only lasted a couple months and then they feel off. It’s like I did it for the emotion high or to brag about having a gf. I’ve never had the feelings of true love with someone and tbh I’m not sure I ever will. Idk who I am anymore. Idk if I’m gay or straight. If I’m gay will people still accept me as who I am. Will they drop me just because I like the same sex. I don’t know any more. It’s been hard. I bottle up the emotions and don’t talk to anyone about them. I try to stay tough because that’s what I’m suppose to do as a man right? But it’s hard. There’s so much to say but idk who to say it too. My friends and I are really not that close and I feel as if they use for the stuff I have. I trust my parents and my sister but idk how to talk to them about this. I’ve made new friends recently but I think they’ll drop me if I am gay. I’ve found someone recently who is gay and I feel like I can talk to him about this but I’m not sure how to approach it and I don’t wanna put this burden on to him. Idk what to do anymore. Idk who I am, what I want, who I like, and what my future is like. Thoughts of suicide have crossed my mind but I never plan to do so because I love my family to much. But it’s hard bottling these emotions up.