To all the times I've said no to eating with people or practicing lines at lunch, i promise I'm not trying to be rude or that i don't like you or that I'm not devoted to the play, i just can't handle eating in public and i just can't tell you because it hurts to say it out loud so I'm sorry... And to the people who ask me why I'm always so quiet and don't make friends easy but am clingy to the friends i do have, it's because of neglect and having people that i thought were my friends backstab me, and I'm so clingy because I'm scared to loose my friends...

TW// self harm & suicide i’m known as the “perfect girl” with a “perfect life” by everyone. my parents are still together. there are literally no problems in my family, everyone gets along really well. we aren’t struggling with money. i have all A’s. i was accepted into one of the top private schools in my state. i’ve been on homecoming court and i’ve been elected for a position in the student council. my parents do everything they can to give me an amazing life. but for some reason i feel so sad. i don’t know why and i feel so selfish but i feel sad. i feel like everyone hates me and like they would be better off without me. everyone thinks i’m perfect and my friends even tell me that i’m “the only mentally stable person” that they know. i’m scared of telling anyone else this after it got out and got to my parents. but since this is anonymous i wanted to let it out. i self harm and i relapsed so many times. i attempted 3 times in the past 2 years. obviously it didn’t work and i don’t plan on doing it again for now but i have thoughts about it. it sucks. and i feel so hopeless and helpless even more since no one can see it. i know this is selfish but sometimes i wish people would try and understand and talk to me

• August 5, 2023