I quite honestly think I am in love with my best friend. I know I am even thought he lives in a different country. We tried online dating for a little last summer but I ended up cheating on him with my best friend (i regret this more than everything and I hate myself for it). We used to FaceTime so often and I miss him so much. We tried again after the whole incident but he couldn’t stop thinking about what happened. He now has another girlfriend but agreed that once we are 18 (im 16 rn) we could meet up and try again. We agreed though that we wouldn’t do anything sex related and to save ourselves for each other. It hurts so bad knowing I love him and this commitment is the only thing giving me hope of the future. The problem is I’m scared he won’t keep his promise.

TW// self harm & suicide i’m known as the “perfect girl” with a “perfect life” by everyone. my parents are still together. there are literally no problems in my family, everyone gets along really well. we aren’t struggling with money. i have all A’s. i was accepted into one of the top private schools in my state. i’ve been on homecoming court and i’ve been elected for a position in the student council. my parents do everything they can to give me an amazing life. but for some reason i feel so sad. i don’t know why and i feel so selfish but i feel sad. i feel like everyone hates me and like they would be better off without me. everyone thinks i’m perfect and my friends even tell me that i’m “the only mentally stable person” that they know. i’m scared of telling anyone else this after it got out and got to my parents. but since this is anonymous i wanted to let it out. i self harm and i relapsed so many times. i attempted 3 times in the past 2 years. obviously it didn’t work and i don’t plan on doing it again for now but i have thoughts about it. it sucks. and i feel so hopeless and helpless even more since no one can see it. i know this is selfish but sometimes i wish people would try and understand and talk to me

• August 5, 2023