I don’t really like my own mother. Everybody loves her but if they saw how she was at home they wouldn’t. She always wants something else and I never feel good enough. She’s not abusive but sometimes it just makes me not want to be here anymore. She says I love my other family more than her and I don’t have the heart to tell her that it’s true. She does good things for me but ends up ruining it somehow. She hates my soon-to-be stepmom but she doesn’t know she is going to be my step-mom yet. I’m afraid that if she can’t accept it then I’ll have to move in with my dad. I love my dad and I would be happy but then it would be a big deal with her. She seems crazy sometimes but she’s really not. There’s nothing I need help with really just needed to get this off of my chest.

when i was younger (like 7-12) my dad used to hit my sisters and my mom divorced him. he rarely did it to me but he would emotionally abuse me a lot. like being manipulative and narcissistic. i’ve been to a therapist ordered by the court about it but no one ever takes me seriously because “he never really hit me” it still impacts me a lot and i try not to think about it but when i do it really messes me up. recently my moms boyfriend had asked us to move in with him and my mom said yes. my dad used to move around a lot and so the town that we’re moving to he has lived in. it’s giving me severe ptsd and anxiety and i can’t control it but my mom is telling me to get over it because hes different. well she’s had boyfriends before and they weren’t different. i can’t help feeling guilty like i’m stopping them from being happy but i’m very unsure about it. her boyfriend hasn’t given me a reason to doubt him and he’s really good to me and my younger siblings but i still worth it won’t work out.

• August 4, 2023