My mom was a addict but I still loved her because when she was sober she was the best mom but when she wasn’t she was the worst. At some point child services took my sister and I away. (I raised my sister basically because my mom wouldn’t be sober enough to raise her) I had to be separated from my sister at some point and it completely killed me and felt like the end of the world. My mom promised she would stop and take us back. Eventually my sister and I ended up in the same foster home. My lawyer called and said I won’t be going home. I asked her why. She said my mom didn’t pass one drug test and isn’t appearing to court. I got mad. I called my mom and started yelling at her and begged her to pass the drug tests so we can go home. She wasn’t sober and went off at me too. We got into a argument and I told her she’s the worst mom ever. After that she stopped picking up the phone. I thought that she was mad. A few days later I found out she overdosed and that she died. I regret getting mad at her all I wanted to do was go home.

I been thinking real hard about even relaying these awful things about the person that I have admired the most, the person I have respected and revered my whole life but that now, has completely backstabbed me in the worst way possible. A few years ago, a scandal broke in my political family involving my mother. As you can imagine, it nearly broke my marriage and tore my husband’s family apart. My sister in law found my father in law and my mom talking on social media. The worst part of it, when I was confronted, I was accused of knowing about the whole affair and made it looked like I was an accomplice to the whole ordeal. When I had absolutely no clue to such a disgusting mess. I don’t know what neither of them were trying to accomplish and now, I’m the black sheep of the family. No one talks to me. While my father in law is still loved and honored. My mother the home wrecker and I pay the sins of her ordeals. She never once has said I’m sorry. Never! In her head, I’m better off without that side of the family. But it’s not about that; why did she do this to me? Why my father in law? Among so many men? Why him! I guess I’m just looking for an explanation and I know I will never get it from her. Because she just cannot accept she did anything wrong. I wish I could get her version because as of now, I only know everyone else’s but her’s. I always thought I didn’t need to hear her side because it’s not my place to question her, but I have kids who now have to suffer for her sins as well. I don’t think it’s fair to them either. I guess the damage is done as well and the past is the past. I won’t get nothing accomplished but I just want an acknowledgment from her part that she messed up.

• August 12, 2023