My mom cheated on my dad with my brothers best friend who was 18 at the time. My brother caught them making out in the bathroom and it was one of the hardest things I've had to deal with in life. Couple of weeks after this happened I stopped my dad from killing himself and it stays with me everyday. I dont understand why my own mom would do that to us. It hurt so bad I dont think I'll ever be able to forgive her for what she did but I am glad she is out of our lives tho. Growing up she was mean to me and she would abuse me verbally, mentally and emotionally. For one instance she would pee all over the floor and make me clean it up. She would scream at me because she pissed in the floor and I didnt wanna clean up her mess. She would be so mean and yell at me all the time. I just wanted a loving mom. She made me start hating myself before anyone else.

I'm a bad kid, being me ik all my family's passwords nobody can hide anything from me without me finding out in due time. I always get in trouble and do stuff to make my mom mad so for some reason I went through my mom's phone through her texts all her listed passwords and I came across a note in her phone it was locked I typed in the password I used to get into her phone and it opened that's how I found out my mom was depressed and planned to.. in a few months my heart dropped at reading this I had been such an awful kid and I was the reason. Then something in me changed and I just couldn't be a bad daughter anymore I wanted to but there was always an invisible force holding me back. I started showing more love and support and on the date that was read on her phone she took me to a bridge over water pulled to the side of the road and told me to get out I panicked because I knew what she was gonna do but instead she came clean to me and we talked and I told her that I already knew about it. As bad of a daughter I was I love and always will love my mom and I couldn't stand the thought of losing her.

• August 6, 2023