When I was 11 my father took off his clothes and manipulated me into doing the same. I was safe, that's what he said at least. He waited for my mother to leave for church on Tuesdays. He would touch me and that soon turned to a family friendly back massage while naked. I could feel him try to push himself into me. One day, we were doing the usual and he would sit on the back of my thighs and work his way closer to me. He "slipped" inside of me and I almost screamed. I told him the problem but all he did was mumble under his breath and stare whilst still in me. I sat there crying. Feeling disgusting in my skin. He would then tell me that no man would ever want me because of what use done. He mutilated parts of my body then proceeded to tell me that it was my fault and that it was ugly. I lost my faith. But officially one year later, I've found God again and I've found the one man who loves me for me. I am getting more confident in myself and loving my body without degrading myself. I've forgiven my father. I suffer from ptsd and anxiety with depression to go along with it. I can't feel comfortable in my skin when around others. But like I said, I've found a man to love me for me. He doesn't expect anything and never makes me give too much. We snuggled the other day and for the first time in 4 years I was completely unaware of myself. I was comfortable, I was happy. He is spending 15 years in prison and 15 on probation. Thanks for listening! Oh and don't feel bad! I'm more than what's happened to me, and I want to live life as normal as possible .

I been thinking real hard about even relaying these awful things about the person that I have admired the most, the person I have respected and revered my whole life but that now, has completely backstabbed me in the worst way possible. A few years ago, a scandal broke in my political family involving my mother. As you can imagine, it nearly broke my marriage and tore my husband’s family apart. My sister in law found my father in law and my mom talking on social media. The worst part of it, when I was confronted, I was accused of knowing about the whole affair and made it looked like I was an accomplice to the whole ordeal. When I had absolutely no clue to such a disgusting mess. I don’t know what neither of them were trying to accomplish and now, I’m the black sheep of the family. No one talks to me. While my father in law is still loved and honored. My mother the home wrecker and I pay the sins of her ordeals. She never once has said I’m sorry. Never! In her head, I’m better off without that side of the family. But it’s not about that; why did she do this to me? Why my father in law? Among so many men? Why him! I guess I’m just looking for an explanation and I know I will never get it from her. Because she just cannot accept she did anything wrong. I wish I could get her version because as of now, I only know everyone else’s but her’s. I always thought I didn’t need to hear her side because it’s not my place to question her, but I have kids who now have to suffer for her sins as well. I don’t think it’s fair to them either. I guess the damage is done as well and the past is the past. I won’t get nothing accomplished but I just want an acknowledgment from her part that she messed up.

• August 12, 2023