What are your deepest secrets that you would like to share before you d.i.e?
2 years ago my sister took her daughter and left. She cut off all contact with me and my mom and disappeared from our lives. For 5 years I watched my niece grow up. I heard her first words, saw her first steps, I got to hold her after she was born. In a few months she’s going to be 7 and I’ll be 18. I lost all hope of ever seeing her again a long time ago because the hope just brought more pain. My sister is 9 years older than so we’ve never really been that close and for the year leading up to her leaving, I kind of stopped loving her. She turned into someone I didn’t like, someone that I didn’t recognize and someone that felt more like a friend than a sister and sometimes it was neither. I’m more alone than I’ve ever been before and often miss my sister even though I don’t want to. None of those are really secrets though. The big secret, I guess, is that I wish they weren’t here anymore. Not because I hate them, it would be heartbreaking if my niece wasn’t here anymore, but because it would be easier to cope if the reason I didn’t see them was because they weren’t alive, not because they just don’t want to see me.
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