I regret my last words to my friend being "Thank you". There was this one really late night I was on call with my friend Ethan. (I'm using his name because it's pretty common) We were having fun talking over FaceTime. Randomly he hung up, which he never does. I immediately went to text him to see what was happening. He replied saying that he was sorry he hung up and wanted to "Test a theory". I asked him what the theory was and he said "Why do we always have 3 lives in video games?". I was confused by what he said and eventually I got the hint. I tried calling him but he wouldn't answer. He would only text me. I tried persuading him not to do it but he didn't change his mind. It was so late at night I wasn't thinking straight. I texted him "Can you think about it?". He replied with "sure". I thanked him.. I went to his funeral about a week later and when no one was looking I slipped a note into his pocket. It was a little note confessing my love to him. I was going to give it to him the day after we FaceTimed but that didn't work out.

TW// self harm & suicide i’m known as the “perfect girl” with a “perfect life” by everyone. my parents are still together. there are literally no problems in my family, everyone gets along really well. we aren’t struggling with money. i have all A’s. i was accepted into one of the top private schools in my state. i’ve been on homecoming court and i’ve been elected for a position in the student council. my parents do everything they can to give me an amazing life. but for some reason i feel so sad. i don’t know why and i feel so selfish but i feel sad. i feel like everyone hates me and like they would be better off without me. everyone thinks i’m perfect and my friends even tell me that i’m “the only mentally stable person” that they know. i’m scared of telling anyone else this after it got out and got to my parents. but since this is anonymous i wanted to let it out. i self harm and i relapsed so many times. i attempted 3 times in the past 2 years. obviously it didn’t work and i don’t plan on doing it again for now but i have thoughts about it. it sucks. and i feel so hopeless and helpless even more since no one can see it. i know this is selfish but sometimes i wish people would try and understand and talk to me

• August 5, 2023